sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
