i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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