I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
