I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
