in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
