she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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