My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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