I'm so fucking centered right now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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