I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
