would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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