you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
