He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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