sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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