I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
