Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
