Don't make out with my wife yet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
