Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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