How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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