David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
