We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
