Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
