people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
