how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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