Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
