She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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