you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
