Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
