Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
