God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
