The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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