People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
