I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
