i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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