Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
