you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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