I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
