She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
