Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
