Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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