She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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