Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
