He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
