its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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