Someone shit on the floor
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
