i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
