so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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