My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
