got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
