despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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