I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
