...so i touched it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
